The Feline Files – Spies or Sedatives

There is an air of sadness, a heaviness in the house today.  Almost like the air itself is too thick to breathe.  It feels sedating.  I can’t help but sense it.  I find myself just wanting to sleep for the sake of sleeping instead of sticking to my usual schedule, which has been carefully planned in order to maintain my optimum efficiency during waking hours.  I’m not sure what has brought this on, perhaps it’s just the weather.  It has been raining steadily since late last evening.  I have to admit I’ve had to keep in check with myself in order not to succumb to this morose feeling.

Maybe I need to move around some more.  I’ve spent most of the morning holding my position on the window’s ledge downstairs watching the birds feeding in the rain.  I’ve been making sure they know I’m here, despite the rain.  I can move upstairs and watch them from there, they will still be able to see me from the window above.  As I start to make my way up the stairs I realize I haven’t seen Diesel since we ate breakfast this morning.  Odd.  He usually follows me around bothering me with his incessant conversation about nothing of significance.  Not that I miss his company, it has surely been a break to not have him around me, it just that it is out of the ordinary.  And that doesn’t usually lead to anything good.  I find solace in routine.

Once at the top of the stairs I give the area a quick scan, nothing.  Hmmm, interesting.  I check the couch and chair in the living room, still nothing.  Under the dining room table or on the chairs, nothing.  Feeling perplexed I continue on into the kitchen.  That’s where I see him.


“Diesel!”, I reflexively shout out after finding him in such a peculiar position.  No response, I shout at him again, this time standing closer.  “What?”, he says groggily and softly.  “What the devil are you doing?” I snap out at him.  “Having a nap, what does it look like?  And it was a good one too until you woke me up.  Do you need me for something?  What do you want?”.  There’s no anger in his response, which infuriates me further.  “A nap yes, but why are you under the cupboard?”.  “There’s no one home and I felt like I needed a cuddle, if I squish myself in it’s almost like it’s hugging me.”  I can’t believe the things he says sometimes, idiot.

I don’t even bother to continue the conversation and just walk out of the kitchen feeling exasperated.  If that one bizarre encounter has told me anything, it’s that this heaviness in the air seems to even be affecting Diesel.  Laying about in despair like that, has he no pride?  It brings shame to us both.  

Unable to relax I can feel my mind start to race.  I consider that perhaps there’s something more to this feeling of heaviness.  Then the idea hits me suddenly, at the same time my back starts to twitch.  I wonder if it’s possible that somehow the house has been infiltrated and we are being chemically sedated in a plot to take over my territory?  But how could this be possible?  I’ve been my usual astute and diligent self prior to today.  I would have known if someone or something had made alterations to the house from the outside.  Unless, it could be possible, that one of the humans has brought something home on their clothing.  Silly creatures for wearing clothing in the first place.  But due to their inferior design they require it for warmth and protection.  No, that’s preposterous.  I would have been able to sense something on them when they arrived home yesterday.  My senses are keen and my intuition is unparalleled.

I can’t shake the feeling of physical discomfort now that my mind has started racing.  I decide that I have to check all of the possible entry points of the house to make sure.  That’s the only way that I will be able to settle.  I start making my way around the house checking all of the windows and doors.  Finding nothing out of the ordinary my confidence starts to return, and with that comes relaxation.

I start to deal with the fur on my back when it hits me, the ventsUnlikely but still possible.  My back starts to get twitchy and I’m feeling stressed all over again.  I haven’t found any actual evidence of infiltration.  Chemical sedation through the venting just isn’t that likely Harley, get a hold of yourself.  Use your superior logic here, it must be the weather.  That’s the only acceptable option.  There is no way I would have missed anything else.

All of this extra work under the conditions of the weather has only caused further disruption to my routine.  It has also left me feeling exhausted.  I will need some sleep in order to conserve my strength and preserve my intellect.  I will have a nap and then repeat my inspections later.

Just when I decide to get myself settled the front door to the house opens and the humans enter.  I’ve been so distracted that I have completely lost track of time and didn’t here their vehicle approach or enter the driveway.  I don’t bother trying to tell them what has been going on.  I know that’s useless.  Instead I directly proceed to thoroughly inspect all parts of them for traces of chemicals.  I make sure to sniff their clothing, hands, face, nostrils, eyes and ears.  After finding nothing I allow them to feed me supper and get themselves settled.

This potential attack has made me further recognize just how vulnerable the humans really are when they’re not in my presence.  I decide that after my scheduled physical training it would be best if I nap in their bedroom, this way I can stay close to them and provide protection overnight.  This isn’t customary to my usual routine, or theirs.  In order to convince the humans that it is the best idea but without causing alarm, I’ll have to play into their games.  A flash of dilated pupils and a slightly wanton stare should do it.


Now they will be protected under my watchful gaze.  Sleep well my humans, sleep well.


If you’re interested in reading the previous episodes of The Feline Files click here to go The Feline Files page.


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